Summer is officially drawing to an end. The smell of Fall is coming on the West winds. The beautiful Ohio skies are full of Canadian geese silhouetted on the dark clouds of September. It is the time of year that kids of all ages seem to dread, but parents secretly celebrate and long for…back to school time. What can we do to ensure that our children develop good habits this school year? Here are a few “common sense” examples that we should now begin to practice to prepare our children for a smooth transition.
1. Establish a firm bedtime and meal time schedule. – Start having the children go to bed at a reasonable time (Doctors recommend that children need an average of nine to eleven hours of sleep per night) and waking your children up earlier in the morning. Prepare a healthy breakfast to ensure the child is getting proper nutrition for the long days ahead. Being disciplined in early to mid August will ensure a smooth first few weeks of school.
2. Curb the T.V - Good studying habits reflect on the mood of the house. If the TV is always on, the child will easily be distracted. The child’s mind will calm down with reading time and quiet time before bed. It is also a great time to build some family communication.
3. Build a study area. Children, especially older ones, need a quiet space to do homework. A good personal space is essential for concentration. Find a good room with good lighting that will allow the student to focus with minimum distractions.
4. Get supplies and clothes early – Nothing is more frustrating than running around the night before school starts searching for supplies. It is stressful for you and your children. Get all the clothing and supplies early and be prepared. What kind of example are we setting as parents if we look clueless as to when school starts?
5. Talk, talk, talk – Communicate about new problems that may occur at school, but be positive. Bullying will occur to many children this year, too often unreported. Build a wide-open dialogue and watch the magic as your children openly communicate future problems. Be approachable and uplifting for them. These precious years fly by!
6. Be a parent, not a friend – One of the biggest issues we hear about at our school is that the child seems in control of the parent. The tail seems to wag the dog. The child dictates when he or she comes to class and when he or she goes to bed etc. If you are perceived as a friend by your child, then your child will probably treat you with little respect and take advantage of your inability to be firm. It is our job as parents to prepare our children for the world, not be their “buddy” and give them everything they want. Never reward bad behavior. Always reward good behavior, preferably rewarding them with our individual attention over money. Sometimes hard to do, but simple enough to remember. They will one day thank us for it.
7. Take advantage of the system – Take a tour of the school and go and meet the teachers. Take advantage of the amazing new online resources. Some schools have daily emails of homework assignments for each class. Get plugged into the technology that is out there. By doing so, you can hold your child accountable with homework and class expectations. The teachers are here to help. Make them our first ally in our child’s future.
8. Train – If you already have your child training towards black belt at The Dojo, then you are way ahead of the curve. The Dojo promotes personal responsibility, work ethic and good attitude at home and school. Training will also prepare your child for bullying and stranger danger awareness. A child that comes to class consistently at The Dojo will be ready for any challenge that may arise. It is also a great stress-reliever and great fun and exercise.
Let us make this school year the best yet!! To your success…
Todd Ryotoshi Norcross
If you or your child is not advancing on a regular basis, there are most likely things (perhaps conditioned, personal things) that are impeding progress at The Dojo.
We give literally dozens of tips to students each and every day on what we need to see. Please, always ask an instructor if you are confused about what areas you may need to improve upon. Our primary job is to bring out the best in you.
Just remember, we can only guide you in the right direction.
Here are just a few examples of things that we ask students to improve upon in order to move forward towards the status of (shodan) 1st degree black belt.
Come to class consistently. You cannot expect to advance if you do not come to class at least twice a week. It would be like trying to get a college degree and occasionally going in the lecture hall to hear the teacher’s lessons. The knowledge will not come to you magically. This martial knowledge cannot be learned through book or video. You must seek it out actively. You must make this art your own. Make the effort to train face to face every week. With consistency, you can expect to take hold and master your life in every possible area. Make the Dojo the place to be!
Sharper technique is expected.The math asked her student “What is 3+4?” The student consistently said “The answer is 8!” Is 8 the right answer? This math student would not pass his or her math test right? In the Dojo, it is no different. We need to see the techniques performed under pressure. If the student does not meet expectations, it is our duty to make sure he or she does not advance until the techniques are demonstrated correctly. This is real life self protection. We cannot afford to “almost” or “maybe” pass the test. Our very lives could depend on our paying attention to details.
Cultivate a ” third person” perspective: Watch your actions as a student. Observe yourself as a third person on the mat. Do you yawn? Do you look off off into the mirror? Do you look like you care? What would a crowd think of your technique, posture, stances, voice etc.? Here is a hint one of my teachers shared with me years ago: He said “Pretend as if you are being filmed for a movie when you train. This will ensure that your focus is on the mat.” Pay close attention to keeping eye contact with the teacher. Listen intently, as if hearing the information for the first time. Always say “Yes, sir of “Yes, Ma’am!” Work on your consistent respect for others. Lead by example and watch others get excited and inspired by your sheer martial presence.
Be the best training partner you can be: Being a great uke (receiver/training partner) is essential for progress. Giving an honest and enthusiastic attack is good. Talking excessively is not good. Trying to teach your partner is not good. It is the instructor’s job to teach. Sometimes the best thing you can do to progress is put your nose to the mat and just shut up and train. In this awareness, have fun! Smile. Emulate joy in your training with an open heart. Try to be everybody’s favorite training partner.
Humble yourself and step back through the gates: Each level of training is considered a “gateway”. Once you have completed the yellow/black belt, you can then enter the gateway into Level 2. If you are in Level 3, this means that you can also step back into Level 2 and Level 1. Never assume that you are “done” with that material. Level 1 techniques are also black belt techniques. Instructors are always impressed when they see somebody in Level 3 taking a level 2 or level 1 class. Brushing up on your fundamentals is the best training you can do. It will also ensure that you pass your brown belt tests with ease. Be prepared and always ready for anything. This is being a black belt!
Good luck on your journey! You have chosen a powerful vehicle towards personal mastery. Create your own enthusiasm to move forward. Work hard to make this life a great one!
“Ability is what you’re capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.”
– Lou Holtz
Todd Norcross- July 26, 2010
Here are some facts about the higher levels of training at The Dojo.
Those entering Level 3 should be prepared to “step it up a notch.” Level 3 students are required to remember their techniques from level 1 and level 2.
Parents: Do not assume you (or your child) will graduate every three months if classes have been missed or the required material has not been understood. Any legitimate school would do the same thing. Those that put in the time and effort should be rewarded accordingly. There is absolutely nothing wrong with taking more time to earn your next rank, if you are having difficulty with the material. We promise to help you whenever you need it, just ask.
Those with bad or lazy attitudes in class will not progress…period.
It is strongly encouraged that Green and Brown belts also attend level 2 and level 1 classes whenever possible. Commit to make time for it. Brown belts will have a series of arduous tests in order to attain a black belt. As with all tests, these particular tests will be fairly easy to pass, if you have been consistent and done the necessary effort and practice.
We will not give anybody a black belt. It must be legitimately earned. We have only awarded one black belt in three years here at The Dojo! Our high standards are unmatched. It is the least we can do for the rich tradition that we are all a part of. We have seen too many black belts in our days without the true “Budo” skill and spirit necessary to survive a real conflict. There will be no paper tigers created here.
Also, Brown belts will also have to show proficiency in certain weapons. Take weapons classes at least three times a month. Be very careful not to get comfortable and lazy with your higher rank. Your training should increase, not decrease. You have earned your place in Level 3. Please do not let the newer students have more passion for learning than yourself.
Parents also need to encourage their child to get to class and to practice at home. We wouldn’t let our kids skip regular school classes would we? Younger students need a lot of positive support and understanding in order to make these demanding final steps.
Earning a black belt absolutely change ones life. However, even the most beautiful, workable philosophy in the world won’t work..if you won’t.
Please take this advice to heart…
Todd Ryotoshi Norcross - June 2010
By Todd Norcross
Does the girl in the photo below look familiar? She has been on the news a lot lately. She was constantly bullied at school for months at a time. Her peers, teachers and school staff allegedly also knew she was being picked on. In January of this year, she ended up taking her own life. Even after her death, those who bullied Phoebe went to a school dance and continued to mock her via text messages and Face book. This did not need to happen…
Bullying is a shameful American issue that is growing leaps and bounds. An estimated 5.7 million kids are bullied at school every day. This is a problem that needs to stop! In my opinion, the vast majority of these kids have not developed a healthy personal “identity” yet, so they frantically seek external approval from anything or anyone that will accept them, even at the detriment of their values, morals and self worth. We see this behavior when we teach at Mason Middle and High schools. The kids are having a rough time just trying to fit in socially, never mind the stresses of preparing for life and college. When we are teaching a self protection class, we often poll the kids and ask: “How many of you have ever been bullied?” Almost all the students’ hands immediately go up. I would bet anything, that at least one of those polled has thought about suicide because of bullying. This mindset can be prevented…
The story of Phoebe Prince is why we actively role-play against bullying at the Dojo all the time. As parents and responsible protector guardians, we must keep communicating to our children about any bullying issues at school or on the cell phone or computer. It is essential to practice (perhaps even daily) how to defend against these often unseen and unreported attacks. It is of paramount importance that our kids stay training in something like the martial arts during these critical developmental years. This may be one of the few activities where kids are shown how to rely on themselves for inner peace of mind and happiness. Training in the martial arts is an awesome vehicle for finding out just who you are. Children learn to be aware of their surroundings, to the point of being a natural leader of others.
There are many popular sporting activities where kids can be overlooked easily. Kids sometimes get lost and become just another part of a large group; another cog on the wheel to beat and defeat the visiting team. I have even heard of stories where bullying was done by fellow team-mates during sport seasons.
At the Dojo, we encourage individuality with a strong ethic towards personal success, without the crutch of “just being one of the crowd.” We have had dozens of success stories of how kids seem to blossom and grow with tremendous fortitude and resilience. Our proudest success story is when a child celebrates from accomplishing something great, while protecting others in the process.
Just this year, two days before a high school dance, 15-year-old Phoebe Prince hanged herself at her parents’ home. Her 12 year old sister discovered her. It was widely known in her school that Phoebe was being bullied, by at least nine people.
I came across this quote and it reminded me of something I have been through. Perhaps you know it too?
“For every minute you remain angry, you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.” – Master Poet Ralph Waldo Emerson
The angriest people I know have deeper issues that remain covered by their fear. Anger is a cold partition, built brick by brick, from some sort of past or present pain. I used to have such a small world view from my self-made barricade. Martial arts training gives us opportunity to deal with anger. It teaches us not only to control anger, but to literally transcend and let go of it. Over time and dedication, we effectively “deconstruct” our walls. The external training gives us a vehicle and instructions towards internal freedom.
Emerson says to emancipate yourself from the hard work of holding a grudge. The other party does not know or care if you bear ill will towards him or her. Holding on, your grip gets fixed and weak. Letting go, allows you space to breathe and create. How many more days are you going to give her your precious time? How many more years are you going to let him control your life and silently win?
Tear down that wall!
-
Todd Ryotoshi Norcross
Spring, 2010
We take training very seriously at our school.
It is so much more than just martial arts here. Children, as well as adults, are taught many things to enhance life. Here are eight important things that you may not realize they are learning?
- Peace of Mind: Knowing that your child is actively training how to stay aware and safe is a great peace of mind for any parent. Those that do not train do not know how to defend themselves. Your child is learning how to defend against predators, bullies and countless problems in life. He or she will know how to respond appropriately in a dangerous situation. You are doing a great service as a parent or guardian by preparing them to handle scary situations and to know what to do when a threat arises.
- Future Preparation: Colleges absolutely love black belts in their school! A black belt carries a lot of positive clout. A surefire way to get your son or daughter’s application to the top of the admission’s pile is to show the college that they didn’t quit. They took the hard road of earning a black belt. It is very rare! Schools will always pick someone that they know will be a role-model and emulate responsibility, personal success and accomplishment on and off campus.
- Bringing out the individual: Sometimes in a large family, a child can easily lose his or her own identity. Unlike team sport activities, we do ever not force competition against others in our school. It is an individual process that is tailored to each student by our experienced instructors. Students go through sets of personal challenges to grow from the experience. They learn to know who they are and they learn to love who they become. They stand out from the crowd and it definitely shows.
- No more bullying: We don’t know of any black belts that get bullied, period. Bullies prey on the weak, but they are repelled by the strong.
- Positive Mentoring at crucial developmental years: A parent old us how much they enjoyed how their sons were completely surrounded by older positive people. Not just the teachers, but older kids that were on the same path towards personal mastery. It is like having dozens of cool older brothers and sisters that will have your back and encourage you when you need help. The children are being exposed to many diverse role-models of all ages that will help shape their future to be a bright and successful one.
- Strong ethical principles: With the values and ethics we instill in the students, they will naturally stay away from a poor choice of friends. They will be less likely to ever get into confrontations or trouble with the law. They will be respectful to others and have compassion for those in need. Most of all, they will learn to rely on themselves for long lasting happiness and contentment.
- Opportunities: A black belt is pre-trained for almost any job. Future employers will hire a black belt because of the skills the student can demonstrate. Your child may grow up to actually become an instructor. He or she may one day even own a large Dojo (school). A career in martial arts can be extremely fulfilling. They are learning skills that will help them to get that job and succeed.
- 8. Don’t forget the parent’s part: Level 2 and 3 are long and bumpy roads where students are tested often. As a responsible and disciplined parent, you didn’t let your son or daughter quit. You are very rare indeed! You invested the time and money ensuring that they will have an edge in their adult future. In a society where it is easy to dabble and quit to do something else, you showed your child that great things come to those who don’t give up because it was too hard. One of the main roles of a parent is to prepare a child for the real world. You are doing that!
“If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders.”
article by Todd Norcross
We started a “Dojo Newsletter” in January. If you wish to be part of the distribution list, please email norcross9@aol.com and we will sign you up. The goal of the newsletter is to keep students and parents informed of all the happenings of the school.
Also, please feel free to submit pictures, articles, advice etc. if it is relevant to helping those going towards black belt.
Thank you!
Question: Don’t you have to train in martial arts to meditate?
Answer: Not at all. 95% of all people who practice meditation around the world have nothing to do with martial arts.
Question: Would meditation interfere with my religion?
Answer: No. There is absolutely nothing supernatural in our practices. The meditation classes that we have at our school are completely secular in nature. Practice your religion (if you choose to have one) on your own time. These classes are made up of applied psychology to overcome common obstacles in our life. People from all faiths and backgrounds find tremendous benefit in mind training.
Question: Isn’t meditation just for new age hippie types?
Answer: There is nothing “new age” about meditation. It is very “old age”. In fact, it is older than written history. Finding true happiness is nothing hokey, nothing to shy away from. It is the most important pursuit we can undertake in our life. Some famous practitioners of meditation were: Thomas Edison, Aristotle, The Buddha, Jesus, Gandhi, Mozart and Albert Einstein. It seemed to work for them, no?
Question: Why don’t more people in the West meditate?
Answer: There are a multitude of reasons. Some are legitimate, and some are not. Culturally, the West is very far behind in the pursuit of happiness. In actuality, the mindset of the West is completely backwards. In the U.S., we often seek happiness in the external world. After activities begin to bore us, we then quit them and move on to something (or someone) else, looking for that instant gratification that never really satisfies.
Another reason is that many people are secretly afraid to see what’s inside and clean up the negative thoughts and habits that develop with time. People are taught to be comfortable being unchallenged. “What’s on television tonight is actually more important to me than working on my mind.”
Another reason is that many people have fragile egos that prevent them from being humble enough to learn from someone new. They think that they are already perfect, so why bother? “Ha, I don’t need that stupid stuff!” is a famous proclamation for sure-fire regret and failure in life. From experience, not having the time, laziness and excuses are just bi-products of the above deeper causes. If more people meditated, more people would know how to put more meaning into their lives, period.
Question: What if I cannot come to every class?
Answer: Coming a few times a month is of course far better than not coming at all. However, do not expect dramatic results in your attitude without consistency and effort. Trying and doing are completely separate things. We will tend to fill in that time slot if we miss several weeks. Mark it on your weekly calendar first. Make time on yourself a super high priority. Make an effort to make an effort. The results are well worth it!
Question: What improvements in my life will I see if I start to meditate?
Answer: Everyone is different. With effort, consistency and lots of practice, you can expect to feel lighter and consistently upbeat. You can expect your confidence to improve. You can expect a more consistent, positive attitude. You can expect frequent feelings of complete happiness and personal inner contentment. You can expect to have better relationships at home and at work. You can expect stress to lose its grip on you. You can expect more results in anything you choose to complete. And finally, you can expect to want to share the knowledge with others.
Question: What should I wear and what should I bring?
Answer: Where comfortable, loose fitting clothing. Cushions and chairs are provided for your comfort. Always bring a receptive, listening and opened mind.
~ Todd Norcross
Classes are held every Wednesday evening from 8:00-8:45 PM
$10.00 at the door per class (block of ten classes for $90.00)
No experience necessary.
How was 2009 for you? Was it your best year ever? (Then give it a rating of ten.) Was 2009 perhaps your worst year ever? (Then, give it a one.) Taking a numerical rating of our lives is a very important task to keep a healthy perspective on things. Too often, we give ourselves a lower number than we really deserve.
Just being alive on this Earth, our “life meter” should be at a minimum of seven. The cold fact that about 16,ooo children die every single day (that’s one every five seconds) should make us feel extremely fortunate don’t you think?
When was the last time you struggled for your next meal? When was the last time you had no clue where you were sleeping tonight? Is your family and community dying from massive outbreaks of Malaria, HIV/AIDS or Tuberculosis?
During the holidays, people are at their most selfish when it comes to ignorantly proclaiming about what they do not have. “I don’t have a long vacation!” “I don’t have a significant other!” “I didn’t get what I wanted for Christmas!” “What? I only got ten presents!?”
Halfway around the world, not very far really, many children are asking: “Why don’t I have any food or water?” “Why don’t I have a house or family?” “I can’t stop coughing. What did I do to deserve this pain?”
By all accounts, we are the lucky ones. We are alive, healthy and extremely wealthy. What arrogance! How dare we complain when…
We should pause and reflect the next time we are about to cry and stress-out about what we do not have. We should start rejoicing in everything we do have. Every day we are still walking this beautiful planet, our life number should be a thankful, solid ten!
A great exercise to do by yourself, or with your family, is to make a written list of all the things that you do have. Compare notes and have a discussion about what is important in life. It should raise your numbers, and your consciousness.
Life is a definite ten!
Todd Norcross
December 22nd,2009
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To be a Black Belt, you need self control
This is a exercise we have been discussing here at The Dojo with our youth students. It was written in easy language so kids can understand. We required this a long-term homework assignment to be read multiple (at least ten) times. Students were also required to open a dialogue and talk with parents/guardians about this important issue. Parents: if you missed these classes at the school, please feel free to print out and practice this exercise now with your children. It will help them realize when anger surfaces. It will also give them tips to deal with it effectively.
For ages 6 and up
Anger is bad. Anger is a choice. Anger will get you nowhere. Here are some things you must memorize to be a powerful person. You need to demonstrate these to be a black belt!
- Choose mastery! Know that you are in control of your thoughts and body, nobody else! Say out loud over and over again Mindful Action #13 “I am so strong that nothing can disturb my peace of mind.” A Black Belt is always in control.
- Choose quiet! Don’t raise your voice. If you yell, you cannot get help. A Black Belt speaks slowly and softly to calm everybody down. What would Yoda do? He is so wise and strong that he doesn’t ever need to yell and hit.
- Choose strength! Do twenty five of your best Black Belt push-ups when you get mad. Breathe long, deep breaths. Exercising makes you let go of anger and feel good!
- Choose smart! -if you scream or hit or cry will that help you? Of course not! That will only get you in trouble. That will only get you picked on. You will also get grounded, lose computer time, television, video games, toys and movie privileges.
- Choose to win! – A winner doesn’t whine. A winner has honor. Remember that the best sports heroes have lost a lot of games! A Black Belt has to fall to the mats 10,000 times! You can’t really win without losing once in a while.
- Choose happy! It is up to you to be in a good mood. Only you can choose good or bad. A Black Belt always tries to be in a good mood and make others smile. Happiness is made by you alone! Believe in yourself! You can do it!
You can be a great role-model to others! Lead by example and act like a black belt until you get there!
Todd Norcross- The Dojo Inc. 2009
