I don’t want to go to class!

Parents…here are some known causes and possible suggestions that may help with your children and teenagers that come home with nasty or lackadaisical attitudes…

1. Could be a food issue?  Some kids suffer from low blood sugar.  Have them eat a healthy snack.  Make sure they also drink plenty of water.  Dehydration can wreak havoc on the body and mind.  Watch their attitude (naturally fueled) change for the better in about a half hour

2. Bad day at school?  Children often hide feelings and embarrassments.   We don’t always know what happened at school.  Perhaps they are secretly being physically or mentally bullied?  Also, there is the issue of cyber-bullying (now at roughly 32% of all children with access to phones or computers).  Perhaps kids feel stressed out from excessive homework?  All these reasons can explain a poor attitude when they come home from their “very real and sometimes scary” school-world.  Ensuring that the home or Dojo is a safe-haven from bullying is essential.

3. Too many sports!  Some kids have three or four different activities after school.  After a while, they literally don’t know what day it is?  They get tired of rushing around to please others.  Many kids take up sports just to please their parents’ agendas.  Many kids’ individuality or talents can be lost or pushed aside on a large team that favors only the strongest and fastest.  Studies show that too many sporting activities can be detrimental and can lead to resentment of the parent later on in life.  Kids need time to be kids.  Dojo Martial Art training is not a sport.  It is a way of building self-created discipline and personal confidence in self protection in a positive and fun environment.  Children will never be forced to compete for trophies or fame here.  They are only encouraged to compete with themselves.

4. Lack of physical activity?  Most children sit around after school, which can make them very moody and lazy.  After a child trains at The Dojo, he or she is re-energized and ready to take on the world.  Physical activity releases healthy chemicals that change one’s entire attitude.  Sometimes, kids may come into The Dojo kind of down and out; but they always go home smiling, sweating, more receptive and more confident.

5. Children may be bored?  Working in a group environment helps build important social skills that will last a lifetime.  A child that sits at home is falling behind with the real world.  Children need a positive environment in which to grow and mature.  It is better that the kids are training and learning rather than fighting with their brother or sister.

6. Parents/Guardians are trying to be a child’s best friend rather than a parent?  Let’s be honest, some parents let their children run their lives.  Some parents actually let their kids decide if they are going to go to The Dojo or not.  Just who exactly is in charge?  Remember, we teach people how we want to be treated.  Kids need consistent discipline coupled with positive attention.  Children will test our boundaries.  They will respect us more in the long run if we have consequences and consistency.  They will love us more if we listen and communicate effectively.

7. Could be a deeper family issue?  This is beyond the scope of a school.  Kids often become angry and quiet if there is a problem at home.  A house with violence, stress and anger will ensure an unhealthy child.  But, it can be reversed!  Communication with an expert may help?  Have family meetings often to make sure everybody is happy and healthy and everyone’s needs are being met.

Parenting is the most noble and rewarding of privileges.  The great news is that it is never too late to start good habits or re-build our relationships with our children.  We have one shot at this!  It is up to us to do our best and lovingly guide our children towards inner contentment and real happiness.  

In the brilliant words of Lady Bird Johnson – “Children are likely to live up to what you believe of them.”

Todd Ryotoshi Norcross-November 2009